Choose Yourself
"Commitment makes good things better and bad things worse.
The more "all-in" you are on a good relationship, the better it becomes. The more you commit to a toxic relationship, the deeper you get trapped.
The more you invest yourself in fulfilling work, the more your effort fuels you. The harder you work on a bad project or in an unsatisfying role, the more of a grind it becomes."
James Clear
Happy March, Dear Ones!
Lately, I've been grappling with a decision to step away from an ongoing commitment. I know this thing isn’t ultimately serving me, and it’s become clear that it’s out of alignment with my values to continue to show up in this space.
However, I've found myself hesitating to change my actions. I wanted to share this, dear reader, because perhaps there’s been a time in your life you’ve felt this way, and I want you to know you’re not alone.
I spent some time this morning thinking and journaling about this feeling of hesitation to get more clarity on where it’s coming from. Here’s what I realized: this space I’ve committed to occupying feels marginally safe. It’s predictable and known to me now. I can expect certain events, and I’m not ultimately responsible for the outcomes that occur. I show up and do the thing, and then I leave.
It sounds simple, yet I’ve allowed it to absorb some of my precious energy. When I commit to an activity, I take it seriously. I go “all in,” and if you don’t know me, then I’ll share that I have a lot of opinions and ideas (which I sometimes struggle to keep to myself), especially when I see potential in something. I want it to thrive!
So, dear reader, today I’m making a choice. I’m choosing to say no to staying in this space. I’m going to honor what I know in my heart is best for me and take back this time for myself.
What finally tipped the scales for me was thinking about it this way: what if something wonderful is waiting to come into my life, but it hasn’t been able to enter my life yet because this plot of my time is currently occupied? By saying no to this time and energy taker, I may be freeing up space for something that is more in tune with what I want in my life.
It doesn’t mean that saying no isn’t still scary. It is, but I need to do it anyway to show up my best in this life.
It feels easier to stay, to follow the status quo and what is expected of me, and harder to choose myself. And yet it’s necessary.
If there is a piece of your life right now, dear one, where you feel like a square peg in a round hole, don’t force yourself to fit into a space that isn’t meant for you. There will be some other place, person, job, or activity that is perfectly curated for you and ready to welcome you with open arms just as you are.
If you need some support in setting boundaries or saying no, I’m here for you. Feel free to reach out here. This is your one wild and precious life; what are you going to do with it?
With love and kindness,
Jessica
P.S.
The fun thing I have been doing to care for myself lately has been yoga! I finished the 30-day Yoga with Adrienne challenge in January and decided to challenge myself to 300 days of yoga this year.
I started the March calendar, and the theme this month is Motivate, which feels pretty fitting. If you’d like to join me, you can find the playlist on YouTube here!
If you found this e-mail helpful or inspiring and you’d like to express some gratitude, you can buy me a coffee here. I'm so grateful to be a part of your journey and for this space in your inbox :)
